Lesbian
Polyfidelity:
How to Keep Nonmonogamy Safe,
Sane, Honest, and Laughing, You Rogue!
by Celeste West
ILLUSTRATED BY NICOLE FERENTZ
How
to keep your affairs deliciously in order! Celeste West runs her wit
'round love's bodice to unlace monogamy's corset, revealing the new
nonmonogamy for the millennium: polyfidelity. Polyfidelitious relationships
provide security and depth, along with sensual freedom and diversity.
Humor, wisdom, and great cartoons. "Celeste West is the First Lady of
Libidinal Etiquette." --- Susie Bright.
excerpt
from Polyfidelity...
Query: My new girlfriend is not only a babe, but one of the sweetest,
most imaginative people I know. She told me when we met, however, that
she usually has around six girlfriends, who are hundreds, even thousands
of miles away "on the Net." I thought, so what-besides her
phone lines being damn busy and occasional sleepy yawns on dates. As
long as she's so digital and full-bodied with me in bed, who cares about
these ghosts on the cold glow? Now she mentions her cyberpal "Trona"
is really a great one for tinysex, adding that the netters she tries
it with usually turn out to be guys in drag.
So, I wonder, can that cathode ray cook up electronic sex like a microwave
does food molecules? Is this virtual reality romance stuff automatically
polyfidelitous and pansexual, or what? Is it real? Is it fake? I work
in an animal shelter and love actual things like gardening and dancing.
My girlfriend laughs and says 1 don't need "teledildonics,"
which I guess is a compliment, but what is tinysex"? I can only
imagine the faeries and the little folk under the stars. Is it worth
it to come in from a starry night to memorize those long codes you have
to pay to play?
-Anna Logan, Lemon Cove, California
Wow,
a cybervirgin. Way cool. "Tinysex" is cyberpatois for
what I would call teenie weenie sex. Chatterbugs with a huge testosterone
habit and/or easy cerebral sex arousal can actually obtain one-handed
typing climaxes exchanging text sex. Thus computers extend the joys
of a fling-thing. Soooo aphrodigital; cold boxes calculating, hot bodies
coming.
Simulated sex via virtual reality's 3-D goggle helmet, data glove, sensor
suit and aroma'round surely makes a wild read, a neat film, maybe even
good bondage. VR however, is not a good fuck because no one in this
millennium can figure out how to "do it" neuromimetically.
Oh well, no one figured out how to do plain old "reality"
either. My best VR tip, Sweet Cybervirgin, is to close your eyes and
fantasize while dancing in the garden. You'll probably conclude that
anyone who thinks disembodiment is the ultimate sexual experience must
be a Holy Ghost Christian. (I had a friend who called fake orgasms "holy
ghosts.") You can bet the old mind/body split Saints Paul and Augustine
would sanctify VR telediddling. Virtual reality sex sounds like your
typical control freak's virtual alienation. Who but someone with a death
wish would want to be replaced with technology? Do let us acknowledge
that VR sex may be desirable computer to computer or robot to robot,
or for human beings who do not like brunch.
I myself finally did manage tinysex with a live, "Interactive"
Lesbian. It took so much skill, talent and time, however, I may as well
have scripted an acclaimed Hollywood screenplay. The sheer attention
required for the Net's mind-boggling command arcana and social protocols
is certainly erotic in its intensity. Please beware of the retina burn
and carpal tunnels accompanying the utter trendiness of arriving in
awe at a Web 256-color panty hose ad. Color cyberspace anything, but
color it "business" first.
The libidinous can also cruise the online red light district for prepackaged,
high cost, hypertext. Here we have pornupixels of graphic files, photos,
CD-ROMs and sound. In this swinging world, I ended up (down?) with a
mild case of hardware envy, but nano-lust. (I did see great earrings.
Earrings are so big and sassy on "adult" CD-ROMS, they practically
need condoms.) Downloading graphics necessitates a power system which
I borrowed in the interests of computer literacy, having absolutely
no idea how to answer your question regarding Net nookie. I am a confirmed
Leadite (that's a #2 pencil, please), living in an idyllic telecommunications
backwater. We still mix our whiskey with l'eau theque and have already
forgotten the whole next century. The call of the modem, however, suggested
pirate outposts of Lesbian polyfidelity sparkling on the Net. Here,
perhaps, was the thrill of a liaison with no imperfections, burdens
or responsibilities? Virtual satisfactions should mean a cheap date.
It is fun to flirt and cross erotic boundaries with no fallout. just
stretching the simplistic sexual/platonic definition is interesting.
I could be my wildest fantasy or dish out utter honesty. Someone told
me net.sex is about self-definitions. I guess it can be one form of
practice.
But let us focus on the most exotic creature online, the Lesbian console
cowgirl. I was actually excited to be digitally inexperienced again;
a baby dyke in the Lesbian baud parade. Did I get the girl?
Well, no ... because the lady I found is a Tiger, topaz and lavendereyed.
I'm talking bandwidth! Even one fawn streak of her electrons stipples
the entire screen. Topaz' persona-every cruising expert online has a
"role" with a "handle"-is that of a magnificent
sevenfoot tiger with undulating, and yes, changing stripes. They can
wrap me 'round in a stream of golden spice when I stroke her left whisker,
enter me as blue lightning as she captures my files in her glowing paws.
How did I ever track such a fantastic screen scroller as Topaz? With
great difficulty and the feline patience of an old tomgirl, not a baby
dyke. Forget the slew of Personals available online, such as America
Online's gay Heart to Heart, or Usenet's alt.personals, in scores of
subdivisions (alt.personals.bi, alt.personals.big.folk, even alt.personals.poly.)
Cyberpersonals tend to exhaust and sadden, a universe of the desperate,
walling to be loved. Instead, I moved my concentration into the sex
and romance newsgroups thicket. Of a few hundred, I hit the tantalizing
fringes: alt.amazon-women.admirers, alt.magick.sex, alt.flame.cycle-sluts.
Electrons can laugh mirthlessly.
-Celeste West, San Francisco
Just like Celeste's
first book, Lesbian
Love Advisor, Polyfidelity keeps your neurons firing faster than
you can take a breath to laugh, swoon, and read in bed to your favorite
lip warmer. Bon Chance!
